Wednesday, June 15, 2005

 

napping, a health requirement

Researchers says babies need 1-3 naps of at least one hour's duration daily.

Parents need their babies to have at least two naps daily, of at least 2 hours in length, at precisely 9 am and 2 pm. This allows the parent to sleep through one nap and accomplish about 250 pre-planned tasks during the other. Funny how parents don't get their needs met.

Only OTHER people's babies drift peacefully off to nap for 2-hour stretches. Your child sleeps only while in motion. By "motion" we mean moving very quickly and then staying that way...That $70 electric swing that will morph into a snazzy coatrack within 2 months is COMPLETELY worth it now when you realize how much shoe leather/gas you are saving.

Let's face it; you're much too exhausted to drive safely now, anyway, since you'd have to cross state lines to ensure a lengthy slumber. Clearly, you'd collapse before pushing a stroller would do the trick, since reaching 65 mph requires being in top physical shape, and you're...well...maybe you should try the stroller thing.

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